Communications Web
Funny Jokes
1) Here's one that comes off as sweet and witty to your significant other.
If we were bees where would we go after we got married?
On our honeymoon.
2) One of the most famous jokes on the list that's a classic.
A blonde asks a brunette, what does IDK stand for?
The brunette says, "I don't know."
The blonde responds, "Omg, nobody does!!!"
3) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were stranded far out into the middle of a desert. They find a magic lamp and rub it. A genie comes out and says, "I will grant you each one wish." The brunette says, "I wish to be home." The redhead says, "I wish to be home with my family." As a reminder they're all stranded in the middle of the desert.
The blonde says, "Awe this desert is hot and boring! I wish all of my friends were here with me!"
4) Here's a fun relationship joke to say to your significant other when you're changing your outfit.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look I'm changing!!
5) This one is referred to as a double entendre because it has more than one meaning that also makes it funny.
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind. It's over your head.
6) This one is a fun one to say to your friends.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo’ drizzle, my nizzle.
7) A fun quirky joke that gets laughs.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and Quakers
8) A breakup joke that's funny in or out of a relationship.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end it doesn't even matter!
9) This one is a great joke to a doctors patient.
A doctor says, "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live." The patient responds, "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? The doctor says, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5..."
10) A travel joke double entendre?
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a big plus!
11) One of the most famous jokes out there for children.
Knock Knock. Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting c...
Moo!!!
12) The third of our double entendres.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, What's your favorite music type?
The other says, I'm a big metal fan!
13) Another double entendre?
Did you hear the joke about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space!
14) More double entedres?
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers!
15) This one would be funny even to a Buddhist.
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything!
16) A fun joke for your teachers and/or students.
What did the teacher say when she jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
17) This one is one of our favorite jokes.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
But then I turned myself around.
18) Did a product break?
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
19) Here's another relationship one that's a little bit spicy.
What does garlic do when it gets hot?
It takes it's cloves off.
20) Point at some trees and say.
I don't trust those trees over there. They seem kind of shady.
21) Here's a cheesy one.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
22) An excellent dad joke.
Dad can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'd fit me.
23) Maybe this one shouldn't be used before prayer?
What did the sandwich say at church?
Lettuce pray.
24) Yet another dad joke.
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A Budweiser in each hand!
25) Eating nachos?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
26) Have a problem with soap?
I use to be addicted to soap but, I'm clean now!
27) A shark joke for the beach.
Why are some sharks rich?
Because they cost an arm and a leg.
28) A fishing joke.
What's the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
Live stream.
29) To your vegan friend.
When vegans get into an argument, do they still call it beef?
30) This ones hard to catch but a classic.
I submitted ten puns to a joke writing competition to see if they would make it to the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did!
31) A fun wine joke.
If I had to choose between being skinny and drinking what should I choose?
Red or white wine?
32) A blonde joke crossed with a doctor and patient joke.
A brunette goes to a doctor and says her body hurts wherever you touch it. The doctor doesn't believe her and asks her to show him. She pushes her elbow and yells ouch! She pushes her knee and yells ouch another time. The doctor asks, you dyed your hair brunette, didn't you? She says, "Yea, I'm naturally a blonde." He says, "I thought so, your finger is broken."
33) A joke about cats.
What does a cat say when it's surprised?
Me-wow!
34) Someone giving birth?
A woman gives birth in the UK every 48 seconds....
She's probably pretty exhausted!
35) Probably the most common and famous walk into a bar joke.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"
36) Here's number two.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."
37) Three walk into a bar jokes.
A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out.
38) And another?
A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.
39) Here's bar joke number five.
A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it coming.
40) Our personal favorite bar joke.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, For you, no charge!
41) The final walk into a bar joke.
An Irishman walks out of a bar. Hey, it could happen!
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Inspirational Bible Verses Good Works Famous Quotes Fun Facts Tongue Twisters Riddles