Communications Web
Funny Jokes
1) Here's one that comes off as sweet and witty to your significant other.
If we were bees where would we go after we got married?
On our honeymoon.
2) One of the most famous jokes on the list that's a classic.
A blonde asks a brunette, what does IDK stand for?
The brunette says, "I don't know."
The blonde responds, "Omg, nobody does!!!"
3) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were stranded far out into the middle of a desert. They find a magic lamp and rub it. A genie comes out and says, "I will grant you each one wish." The brunette says, "I wish to be home." The redhead says, "I wish to be home with my family." As a reminder they're all stranded in the middle of the desert.
The blonde says, "Awe this desert is hot and boring! I wish all of my friends were here with me!"
4) Here's a fun relationship joke to say to your significant other when you're changing your outfit.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look I'm changing!!
5) This one is referred to as a double entendre because it has more than one meaning that also makes it funny.
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind. It's over your head.
6) This one is a fun one to say to your friends.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo’ drizzle, my nizzle.
7) A fun quirky joke that gets laughs.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and Quakers
8) A breakup joke that's funny in or out of a relationship.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end it doesn't even matter!
9) This one is a great joke to a doctors patient.
A doctor says, "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live." The patient responds, "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? The doctor says, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5..."
10) A travel joke double entendre?
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a big plus!
11) One of the most famous jokes out there for children.
Knock Knock. Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting c...
Moo!!!
12) The third of our double entendres.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, What's your favorite music type?
The other says, I'm a big metal fan!
13) Another double entendre?
Did you hear the joke about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space!
14) More double entedres?
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers!
15) This could be funny even to a Buddhist.
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything!
16) What joke can you tell while eating a meal with mushrooms?
Why do woman like dating men when they are eating mushrooms?
It makes them a fun-gi.
17) A fun joke for your teachers and/or students.
What did the teacher say when she jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
18) Funny relationship joke.
My wife gave me an ultimatum. Her or the sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.
19) Boomer joke.
I wondered what my parents used to do to entertain themselves before the internet. I asked my eight brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.
20) This one is one of our favorites.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
But then I turned myself around.
21) Did a product break?
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
22) Here's another relationship one that's a little bit spicy.
What does garlic do when it gets hot?
It takes it's cloves off.
23) Point at some trees and say.
I don't trust those trees over there. They seem kind of shady.
24) A joke best done with a shrug.
Why should you avoid writing with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless.
25) Here's a double entedre.
You really shouldn't brush your teeth with your left hand. A toothbrush works better.
26) Here's a cheesy one.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
27) A joke you can use while working out.
Which days do you work out on to be at your strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. Monday through Friday are weak days.
28) An excellent dad joke.
Dad can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'd fit me.
29) How do you weigh a millinnial?
By there Instagrams.
30) Dad joke for a son.
That's because we have the perfect dad-son relationship. You're my son and I'm perfect!
31) Maybe this one shouldn't be used before prayer?
What did the sandwich say at church?
Lettuce pray.
32) Yet another dad joke.
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A Budweiser in each hand!
33) You've seen dad jokes, what about a mom joke?
What kind of candy do moms love most?
Reese's Peace and Quiet
34) Another mom joke.
What's the fastest way for a mom to experience utter chaos with her kids?
Sit down and look relaxed.
35) And one more mom joke.
Moms quickly learn that you don't always need to have fun to drink alcohol.
36) Want a funny joke excuse?
I glued myself to my autobiography. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
37) Techy joke.
Why are spiders so tech savvy? They can find everything on the web.
38) Harry Potter and Football
What do you call a klutzy football player that loves Harry Potter?
Fumbledore
39) Coffee joke.
I was once a morning person but as I grew older I became more of a give me all the coffee person.
40) A fun dad joke.
My son said, "What's it like having the greatest son in the world." I told him, "I don't know you'll have to ask grandpa!."
41) Scottish folklore joke.
What's the Loch Ness Monster's favorite food? Fish and ships.
42) Slacker joke.
I told my son that I would buy a book for him on how to procrastinate but I keep putting it off.
43) A computer joke.
Why are men sometimes afraid of using their computer?
Because the computer needs to vent.
44) Eating nachos?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
45) Have a problem with soap?
I use to be addicted to soap but, now I'm clean!
46) An old classic!
Can February March? No but April May.
47) A triple entendre?
What do you say on a drunk rabbits birthday?
Hoppy Birthday!
48) A joke for your significant other.
Relationships sometimes require you to apologize for your funny jokes that you know are hilarious.
49) Dad joke for a wife.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes so she gave me a hug.
50) If you want to rep your six pack.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominable snowman!
51) Dating joke.
Stop looking for your perfect match; Just use a lighter!
52) Dating at the gym.
My date refused to show up at the gym. I guess we aren't going to work out.
53) A shark joke for the beach.
Why are some sharks rich?
Because they cost an arm and a leg.
54) A fishing joke.
What do you do when you want to show your fishing catches with all your friends?
Live stream.
55) A joke about rich Irishmen.
Why are Irishmen often rich?
Because their capital is always Dublin!
56) To your vegan friend.
When vegans get into an argument, do they still call it beef?
57) Another relationship joke.
Why should you knock before entering the fridge?
There could be a salad dressing.
58) This ones hard to catch but a classic.
I submitted ten puns to a joke writing competition to see if they would make it to the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did!
59) A fun wine joke.
If I had to choose between being skinny and drinking what should I choose?
Red or white wine?
60) A double entendre joke.
I've decided to start doing lunges to work out. I think it will be a major step forward!
61) A blonde joke crossed with a funny doctor and patient joke.
A brunette goes to a doctor and says her body hurts wherever you touch it. The doctor doesn't believe her and asks her to show him. She pushes her elbow and yells ouch! She pushes her knee and yells ouch another time. The doctor asks, you dyed your hair brunette, didn't you? She says, "Yea, I'm naturally a blonde." He says, "I thought so, your finger is broken."
62) What's a joke about someone entering their password?
Why can't you use beef stew as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.
63) A joke about cats.
What does a cat say when it's surprised?
Me-wow!
64) A funny presidential joke.
Of all the presidents the Bushes were the most green. Go figure!
65) A fun Chemistry joke.
What's a chemists favorite underwear.
Kelvin Klien.
66) Someone giving birth?
A woman gives birth in the UK every 48 seconds....
She's probably pretty exhausted!
67) A fun animal joke.
What reptile has more lives than a cat?
A toad because it's always croaking.
68) A joke for basketball players.
Why are basketball players messy eaters.
They dribble all the time.
69) Probably the most common and famous walk into a bar joke.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"
70) Here's number two.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."
71) Third walk into a bar jokes.
A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out.
72) Here's another.
A teddy bear walks into a bar.
The bartender says what would you like to eat. The Teddy bear says, nothing for me. I'm stuffed!
73) And another?
A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.
74) Here's bar joke number five.
A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it coming.
75) Our personal favorite bar joke.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, For you, no charge!
76) The final walk into a bar joke.
An Irishman walks out of a bar. Hey, it could happen!
77) Here's a fun engagement joke.
What did Venus say when she proposed to Saturn.
Give me a ring.
78) Dinosaur jokes are popular with children so here's one.
What do you call a dinosaur that holds deep philosophical conversation?
A Philosiraptor.
Top 10 Yo Mama Jokes Ranked
1) Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
2) Yo mama so ugly that she faked a worldwide pandemic just so she could put on a mask.
3) Yo mama so fat and slutty she ate a potato chip factory and put up a sign that said she's Free-To-Lay.
4) Yo mama so ugly she joined a novice ugly competition and they said, ''sorry no seasoned professionals.''
5) Yo mama so fat that God told her to move out of the way before he said, "Let there be light."
6) Yo mama so fat that when she tripped people laughed and even the concrete was cracking up.
7) Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the internet she made it the world wide web.
8) Your mama so fat she uses cheat codes for Wi Fit.
9) Yo mama so fat that when she saw a yellow bus full of kids she ran after it yelling, "TWINKIE!"
10) Yo mamas so fat that she had to get baptized at Sea World.
And there's a list of 80+ great jokes from the list of the author's favorite jokes. Yo mama jokes are included separately for those who prefer the style of yo mama jokes instead. I hope you enjoyed the list. Thanks for reading!